How to become a happy working mom
What is the key to become a happy working mom?
I have many mommy friends who have started to work again after their baby was born, and feel depressed and unhappy about the whole situation. It is indeed strange and new, to go back to work full time (or part time ), and stay also the “old” mom who you used to be.
Most of the parents have to give their kid(s) to daycare at the point when both of them have to go back to work. I am a full time working mom, who I love to be, and I am proud of myself that I could adopt this new situation and can enjoy working and being a mom at once. I thought that it will be the worst thing ever. To get use to the new rhythm of our life, and that I won’t see my baby for a whole day. It was though ( and still it is ), I am not going to lie.
In May, 2017 I started to look for jobs, because I wanted to go back, and be a working mom. I missed that part of my day, when I was doing somthing totally different than parenting. We had our fist tour in a daycare, what we both loved. We were sure that once I get a job, Noel will be placed in that daycare. I was happy and super motivated to find a job, and work. Days and weeks passed but got only a few interview opportunities. I failed everywhere. Somehow Nobody wanted me as an employee. Many times I even had a 4th round of interview and then a virtual punch in my face, that I was not hired. Sometimes I was really sad about the fact that I spent all my evenings with my laptop, trying to find a job. It was in my daily routine to look for jobs. EVERY SINGLE DAY. I applied more than 200 positions in a few months. And nothing. LinkedIn was my best freind.
Few months later, I was again in the situation when an employee almost hired me. Before I would get the final answer of them I felt miserable about leaving my baby in a daycare. This feeling hit me as a kind of panick attack. Didn’t last long, but it was definetaly there every time I was thinking about leaving my son for ( more or less ) 10 hours a day. I didn’t get the job. Obviously.
Before Christmas my husband was busy with his work, and so I was home alone with Noel a lot. Some days were super fun, the others a real nightmare. I was wondering a lot why am I not able to get a single job ( not even in the hotel industry where I used to work in ). Now I know why…
We travelled to Hungary to spend the holidays with our family. I had a few interviews before we left, and even attended on one, while being super sick. We traveled home. Few days before Christmas I got an email stating that I am hired to my current company. For a few days I could not even grasp it, but slowly the information has arrived. I was extremely happy with my Christmas present for myself. I was on my way to become a woking mom. 🙂
After we arrived back to Amsterdam I still had 2 weeks to prepare, and check all the possble daycares for Noel. Unfortunately the daycare we loved before was full,so they had no place for Noel.Thankfully we found an other perfect daycare. In this 2 weeks, I was calm, and excited to start. No panicking, no stressing, just enjoying life, and live each day. ( These were already signs that I am ready to go back, however I just realised it now that these signs were always with us. )
You probably don’t understand why this post has the title ” How to become a happy, working mom?”. Let me explain in a nutshell. In my opinion the most important is timing. Try to pay attention to yourself, and recognise your own feelings. Don’t be ashamed of them!
What happened with me, is that I really wanted to feel, that I am the same person I was before Noel. However I am not the same, I am better, stronger, more patient and have way less prejudice than before him. While I was digging deep and trying to find myself ( in his case it is equal with how I wanted to go back to work ), I did not realise the signs my body and my mother instinct tried to tell me. I was simply not ready to leave my son. Maybe my brain was ready, but not ME. So TIMING is the key.
If you try to find a job and you are a new mom, please take your time. Don’t look for your old self, look for the new, and amazing mom you became. Find the connection with your feelings, and communicate with your soul. This is one of the most difficult thing. To get to know what you really want, and not what you want at the moment.
Keep on being amazing mamas, and trust in your instincts. <3
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